Can any good come out of being raised in an unhealthy family?

Chapter Nineteen:

Some people often question God as to why they were not born into another family...one that was loving, caring, and encouraging.  I had a client who particularly struggled with this very issue.  I encouraged him to pray about it.  He told me several weeks later that God had  revealed to him that He had a purpose, a reason for him having gone through what he did.  He said it became very real to him when he read in the Book of Genesis about Joseph, who was given over to slave traders by his jealous brothers.  Years later Joseph had the opportunity to get revenge on them but, instead, he chose to help them.  When asked by his brothers why he had not mistreated them he said, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done…”.   Even though my client could not understand everything, it gave him the hope he needed to hang in there and wait for God to bring about His purpose in his life.   God is a loving God and He has His reasons. What others planned for evil, God can use for good.

It may seem strange to say, but there can be some benefits to being reared in an other-than-ideal family.  When one has been through rough times, he or she  can better comfort others and probably has more of an appreciation for God’s love.  I have noticed that some of my clients develop an ability where they are more in tune with what they say and the manner in which they say it...more so that the average person--as a result of their being harshly spoken to.  This can be very beneficial when they work with people because they know how easy it is to hurt someone with words and one's tone of voice.  They often have also developed a strong survival instinct which helps them move away from  home, become self sufficient and work for a better life for themselves.  They are often self-starters and achieve things because of their drive and commitment to making a better life for themselves.  Their survival instinct gives them  the drive to rise above their circumstances and to strive to become more mentally and emotionally healthy.    What strengths have you developed as a result of your home life? What talents have you discovered about yourself as a result? 

God does not take away our past but He does help us work through the pain and you will notice that over time,  even though the memories of your family are still there, the pain associated with them is not as strong.  You may not be able to figure out why, but God knows why.  He is the one who brings about healing and restoration.  That is exactly what happened to many of my clients.  They have noticed that a lot of the pain they usually felt when they thought about their family was gone. Instead of the disappointment and heartache  they usually felt, it had been replaced by  compassion and concern for them.  

God’s desire for you to grow and change is a lot more than your desire for it to happen!  God wants to encourage you that “…momentary troubles (what you have been through or are going through) is achieving for you an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So fix your eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4: 17).    God’s ultimate purpose has always been and always will be to transform you into the likeness of Christ.  

He wants to restore to you what has been lost. God promises  in Joel 2:25, “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten…”.   I have seen this process take place in many lives.  Psalm 147:3 says, "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."  Psalm 34:18 reminds us that "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."    

Healing and restoration happens as you allow Him to work in your life.